Quotes are not read-only, yet apply-only!

Says the Dalai Lama: Love is the Absence of Judgement! 

This week, my quote is ready. I've found time to turn my insight into a nice quote. The rainbow adds an extra dimension to the quote as the rainbow is a sign from above that someone is caring, loving us, watching over us. The rainbow reminds us in time of sorrow that we are not alone.

My quote about love and self-love.

A good quote should stir something inside you; it should speak to your heart, create an emotion, a thrill. Then you say: so very true, nice, lovely! and there it stops! Only your intellect was touched and your brain tells you: this is nice. We get a glimpse, a flash of a truth and that 's it. 

The goal and the intention of the author of the quote is to pass his/her insight to you, the reader, and to inspire and  push you to apply the message to your life. You can read hundreds, thousands of quotes, books and even if you understand all of them, without applying, you might as well not have read them, it was a waste of your time.

Authors of quotes and self-help books have worked on their subject for years, maybe decades and they feel ready to write their book. And that's the problem: the poor reader, the novice in need of help and advice does not have the luggage, insight and experience of the author and the message is merely words, nice sophisticated ideas. The message hasn't been passed on; they tell you the what, where, why, when, but nothing about how.

The whole cue is about judgement! The Dalay Lama says: Love is having no judgement. If we don't have a judgement, if we don't judge, we have love, we feel love, we can practice love, we are love. What does judgment mean, what is its profound significance? The oxford dictionary says:"The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions" and a second meaning: An opinion or conclusion." 

I have 3 grand children and I love all 3 dearly; one of them is difficult to love, the child was noisy, boisterous, with a huge ego! You see: all judgments. The moment I told myself: this is your grand child, you should see through his performance, don't have opinions, I could love this child easily and I could see his big heart, his facetiousness, kindness.

We have all sorts of opinions about other people. We see a person in a flash and we have made an opinion on this person: he/she is


If we turn back to what the Dalai Lama says: Love is the absence of judgment or Love is not having an opinion! And if you don't have an opinion about a person, then you can love the person, in other words: see the person as he/she is in his/her wholeness, without your life experiences coloring this person. The secret is to accept another person as he/she is. If you do this, than you are able to love a person.


Let's apply what has been said above to ourselves!

Says hilde denys: Self-love is the absence of Self-judgement

I have, you have, we have problems loving ourselves because we know all our flaws and faults, our imperfections our weak sides; you know what really is going on in your head, the bad, negative, harmful thoughts you have, the nasty grim words you don't say... All judgments about yourself. Your are not alone in this, we are all in the same position, we all judge ourselves. If all we have said above is true, then the path to self-love goes over not to judging yourself but accepting yourself the way you are.

Now you won't miraculously become flawless, faultless or perfect. In a way, you are perfect, as perfect as you can be in THIS moment. Being perfect in this moment is not a permission to narcissistic behavior, does not mean that you have to be pleased with yourself and that you can't do better! 

The point is to accept yourself how you are without having an opinion about yourself. You simply observe: I failed in this! and recognize your failing. Don't beat yourself up for it. Don't say: how could I be so stupid, how could I do this, how silly of me; this is judging yourself. In all honesty and sincerity find where and why you made the mistake and plan a way to do differently. Don't accept excuses; this is shoving all responsibility on someone else or on circumstances; we are responsible for our acts and words. In all situations, we have a choice: to do or not to do.

If we give love, we get love back! If we give love to ourselves, we will be able to love ourselves more and if we have more love, we have more love to give hence we'll be able to love others more easily.

Wow, 804 words! all about 1 quote. The publishing of my quote and the new year are good timing! This year I am choosing "balance" again as theme. I can do better. And I intend on incorporating more love into my life; in other words: abandoning all kinds of opinions and ideas about the persons in my life and accepting everybody as they are, myself included!